Homework Help - Parenting From the Heights

Homework Help

Written by Anne Wiggins

Tuesday, 07 February 2012 16:12

If you have children in school, you may experience homework woes. I've never met a child who enjoys homework, and often that time after school can turn into the roughest time of the day.

On this Monday's Heads-Up Parenting Tip (90.9 fm Arizona at 3:35p MST), I give you a heads up on how to cope with homework. Here's what I said:

"With homework being a huge ordeal for many families, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. So here are a few tips to help:

1. Make coming home from school a positive experience. If you're able to, provide a yummy snack each day- maybe something homemade. You can freeze a bunch of homemade snacks and get them out as needed.

2. Remember that your child may be tired and over-stimulated from the day. Having to sit down and do MORE seatwork upon arrival home can push them over the edge. Give them some time to unwind and play, and then even break up the homework by providing breaks between subjects.

3. Unlike what many experts say, I encourage parents to help kids with homework. They've been away all day. Now you only have a few hours with them until bedtime, right? So why not spend that time together? I'm not saying to give them all the answers, but I am saying that you can read passages in books to them, encourage them as they get a correct answer, and help them streamline their work.

4. Don't take on the teacher role. If they need help, then help them. But don't get on their case and say things like, "You're being careless." They hear that all day. Encourage them.

Basically, anything you can do to make homework time special and enjoyable is a plus. Plopping a child down at a desk to do what he's been doing all day may not be very pleasant. Take the time, put forth some creativity yourself, and make doing homework less painful."

I promised a few more tips on my blog regarding this subject, so here you go:

Many kids learn better when they're moving. It's true! If your child has to memorize a list of spelling words, making her sit down at a table and write them all 10 times could be a waste of time, depending on her learning style and level of tiredness. Try having her walk back and forth, spelling the words out loud while she walks. Or, have her bounce a ball and spell one letter every bounce of the ball. You may find that your child learns better and quicker OUT of her seat than glued TO it.

(I know the question arises: "What do I do when the teacher mandates that my child writes her spelling words 10 times each, though?" Read bullet point numbers 2 and 3 for the answer to this question.)

Establish an affirming relationship with your child's teacher. I home school my children presently, but they went to public school for many years prior to us choosing to home school. So I know what I'm talking about! Remember that teachers often encounter parents who are accusatory, mean, non-supportive, etc. And teachers have a very, VERY hard job in so many ways. Be the MVP: "Most Valuable Parent." Even if you're working full-time and can't volunteer in the classroom, you can do some other things like:

-Write a thank you note from time to time and send it in with your child. Simply thank the teacher for working so hard and teaching your child.

-Send in a little treat for the teacher. A candy bar or a small basket of cookies or fruit shows you thought of him/her that day.

-If you're able to spend a little money, pick up a gift card as a "just because I appreciate you" gift at a random time.

-Communicate with the teacher on a regular basis, describing strengths and weaknesses you're seeing in your child.

-If you ever do have a problem or complaint, always treat the teacher in the same manner that you would want to be treated. Never storm into a classroom, accuse a teacher of being unfair, etc. Even if you suspect that a teacher isn't being fair, be the "bigger person" and treat them fairly as you work through the problem. Also, schedule a time to meet the teacher- don't just burst into a classroom because you want to. They're trying to do a million other things and didn't factor your crisis into their morning.

Ask the teacher for permission to modify homework if needed. IF and only if you have an affirming relationship with your child's teacher, it's okay to kindly, submissively ask if, for example, it would be okay to do good, oral spelling help instead of writing words 10 times each. Of course, if your child can't learn well orally, it would make no sense to do this. The object is that the child learns. So if your kid learns far better in a way that isn't accomplished by the homework, it's okay to ask the teacher if you can modify the assignment to help them learn the material better. (It is NOT okay to ask if your child can please not do the homework because you're too busy, of course. :)

I am a firm believer that much of the homework kids bring home each night is a result of teachers simply not being able to teach. Children in general are so disobedient and rude to adults (because they've been allowed to act this way at home), teachers spend a great deal of time in the classroom simply trying to maintain some control. If teachers could actually teach, much more would be accomplished. So help out your kid's teacher by being the kind of parent who works on behavior and character at home so the teacher doesn't have to do it at school.