| Lighten Up |
| Written by Anne Wiggins |
| Monday, 23 January 2012 00:30 |
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Sometimes we parents feel peer pressure to have our kids involved in all kinds of extracurricular activities. But is that really best for the children? On this Monday's Heads-Up Parenting Tip (90.9 fm Arizona at 3:35p MST), I give you a heads up on how to decipher whether you're expecting too much out of your kids activities-wise. Here's what I said:
"I always laugh when I introduce new people to my children, and they immediately ask, "Now what do your kids do?" As if they had careers or something! Of course I know what they mean... what ACTIVITIES are your kids involved with? You can only imagine the concerned expressions I get when I inform the asker that my kids do one sport a year and play a musical instrument. That's basically it. 'They're not in boyscouts?' or 'Not Tae Kwon Do???'
Listen. I keep my kids' activities to a minimum on purpose. When they look back on their childhood someday, I want them to remember... well, having a childhood! I want their memories to involve playing with Legos and climbing trees. I want them to reflect on riding bikes through puddles and decorating cupcakes. Don't you?
I'm afraid that many children will grow up with only rembrances of long car rides and endless soccer fields. That's kind of sad.
Don't put your children in so many activities, because they become too busy to play. Life gets busy enough soon enough. Childhood is meant for other things. And digging in a sandbox is at the top of the list."
I promised some additional help if you're a parent who feels some intense pressure to fit in with all the other families by having your children in many activities. Consider this first and foremost:
When all your critics are long gone from your life, your children will still be your children. When the people you see at the school now are a distant memory in your mine, your children will still be your children. When the feelings of acceptance or rejection wear off, your children will still be your children. Are you getting the point? You don't want to make decisions that will impact the rest of your child's life (and yes, taking away all their play time to have them do every sport and club possible IS impacting the rest of their life) in order to please/be accepted by people whom you may not even remember a few years from now. I doubt that any of them will be in your life in even 7-10 years. Besides, one of the key things you want to model for and teach your children is how to make wise choices, even when it's not the "in" or popular thing. If you can't stand up for yourself, how will your child ever learn to do it? The main thing is that you feel comfortable with what you have chosen for the kids' activities. Every family has a different threshold for what they can bear and enjoy. If you've crossed over into taxi-driver status or your kids are so tired, they're acting horrible, then it would be a good idea to re-evaluate your choices and cut out something. It might be the best thing you do in 2012. |
