| Love Letters |
| Written by Anne Wiggins |
| Monday, 02 January 2012 16:00 |
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I really liked another mom's idea on how to connect with her children. It's so easy, but it means so much. On this Monday's Heads-Up Parenting Tip (90.9 fm in Arizona at 3:35p MST), I give you a heads up on how to get a relationship with your kids back on the "Recently a mom in a rural town in Ohio inspired me to do something. This mom took abut ten minutes one night to write love notes to her children. There was no special occasion. She wasn't leaving for a solo trip, they weren't sick, and they hadn't just performed in a school play. It was just a regular old day.
In these love notes, the mom expressed her delight in the children's various talents and abilities. She commented on character traits she admired in them. She told them how proud she was to be their mama. Since she's crafty, she even made the cards pretty.
She left them on the kids' pillows for them after they went to school that morning. When they came home, they found the notes. The hugs she received for those meant as much to her as the notes had meant to the children.
Sometimes it's easy to correct, correct, correct. And kids can start to feel like they never do anything right! This is such an easy thing to do, and it gets the relationship back to a positive note, no matter where it's been recently.
The key is to make it truly heartfelt and honest. Kids can tell when you're trying to bribe good behavior out of them, and this must not come across that way. I decided to do it with my own kids, and it was very special for all of us. You should try it!"
Connecting with kids is relatively easy, but the society we live in makes it feel hard. Let me just spell this out:
I know those statements are a little blunt, but do you get the picture? Technology, while a great thing, has taken over families, rendering them merely bodies cohabitating-- not being families. If you want a connection with your kids, you're going to have to put forth a lot of serious effort. Turn off the TV and video games. Get off the phone. Stop texting constantly. Instead, get out some games or read a book to your kids. Let them help you cook dinner (age appropriate tasks, of course) or make a special salad or dessert. Go for a walk, weather permitting. Visit a children's museum or go to a ballgame. If you're crafty, design a little craft together or make a scrapbook. Play with playdough! Bounce Silly Putty all over the basement. Run Hot Wheels cars in an empty bathtub like a Nascar race. Do the same thing with marbles (but make sure the drain is closed!). The point is, if you want the benefits of a relationship with your child, you're going to have to put some work into it. And, in the process, you'll deny your children the opportunity to veg out on the couch or spend endless hours in front of a computer. It's way, way more work to connect,... but in the end, you'll be SO thankful you did.
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positive side. Here's what I said: