If you look around, it's easy to spot a lot of parents who have gotten tired of the parenting battles. Major defining characteristic? Ignoring. But is this an acceptable response to horrendous behavior? On this Monday's Heads-Up Parenting Tip (90.9 fm in Arizona at 3:35p MST), I give you a heads up on "not quitting" when it comes to the ongoing, never-ending saga of parenting. Here's what I said: 

"I know of a character trait that is virtually extinct in our culture. It's probably something you don't even think about too often, but when a person possesses it, it makes a monumental difference in their lives. That character trait is tenacity.

Put the ball in your CHILD'S court when it comes to behaving. What I mean by this is that it's not your responsibility to GET them to do the right thing; it's their responsibility to DO the right thing. Here's an example that recently happened at my house: My kids have a few vitamins to swallow each morning. They don't like it. So, like any normal kid, they conveniently forget to take those things often-- even though they're sitting there in front of them, totally visible.

I have called them back to the breakfast table many times to take the "forgotten" pills. It really irritates me. Ridiculous. My children are 10 and 12-- plenty old enough to remember this on their own. So I decided that rather than give up because this was too frustrating and too much work (what many parents do at times like this), I simply said nothing. When my daughter left the table without taking her vitamins, I calmly called her back. She figured she was in for a little speech about how the rule was that pills had to be taken prior to leaving the table. This is what I've been doing for months, anyway.

Wrong! I smiled and told her thank you. Yes, I thanked her. The reason I did this is because I informed her that the new rule was that anyone forgetting to take their vitamins got to clear and wash ALL dishes for everyone in the family for an entire week. Yippeee!!! I got a week's break from kitchen duty. I hoped she'd continue to forget, frankly. Bummer. She's just finished a long week of scrubbing pots and pans, loading and unloading the dishwasher, and getting icky things on her fingers. Wouldn't you know.... she has not forgotten to take those darn pills once. Oh, well. There's always hope that my son may slip up.

Do you see the difference here between the responsibility being on my shoulders for their taking their vitamins (characterized by reminding, lectures, frustration on my part, complaining on everyone's parts, etc.) and their taking that responsibility on their OWN shoulders? Do you think I'm going to remind them to take those little things when I know I can get a dish-free week out of a slip-up? No way. And I never had to yell. Never had to lecture. I wish I'd thought of it sooner.

Take that same concept and apply it in your situation. What thing drives you so crzay, you've given up dealing with it? Put that ball back in your child's court, and get really happy yourself.

For much more on how to get compliance without ever yelling or lecturing again, get our book- Parenting From the Heights.